-Private Threads- [pluviosa]

[nightmareofdivinity]

For threads that don't go anywhere else.

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[harmoniousconsecration]

Sunday feels a gentle kiss against his neck, the warmth of Fou-Lu's breath ghosting over his skin. They were here, together. His eyes flutter shut, just enjoying the intimacy of the moment, how close they were to one another. As difficult as it was to adjust to this new life... Little else felt more right than this.

Fou-Lu's words... make his heart ache. For the other man to think himself broken, a half-creature. Something so base and awful... Sunday looks down at the other man, a pained expression on his face, concerned. He cups Fou-Lu's cheek.

"You are not any lesser just by nature of your summoning. I know that you don't feel whole, or complete. I know that you wish to find your other half. I can only imagine how it pains you. But you are not any less worth of kindness, or respect. Or love. You are not less of a person because of this. You have a kind soul. You have known so much suffering. I have never thought you broken."

The endless' words are full of care, and conviction. Trembling as he speaks the word love. There is power in it, Sunday knows. He can feel it in his chest, aching and burrowing in, an animal seeking heat and safety.

"We can support one another. Guide each other." The halovian thinks, perhaps this was what love was, a place to lay one's head in at night, glances and traded kisses, a person to confide in, to seek shelter in. A person one wishes to create a better world for. "Neither of us have to face everything alone."

"I want to support you, as well. I want to remain with you. I... I don't know what that may look like. I have little experience in this reality, let alone within the boundaries of my own world. But I will be here with you. I want to help you, allow you to live free of this curse, to accompany you, even after you find your other half. If you so wish it. I will accept you in any state, in any form. The only doubt in this I have ever felt is if I am worthy of your grace."

Sunday's hand moves toward Fou-Lu's, and laces their fingers together, gently squeezing the other man's hand. Their heads still lean together, for now, and Sunday opts to press yet another kiss to the top of Fou-Lu's head, before speaking.

"If you would have me like this... If you would love one who carries his failures in his heart, a man who has spent a lifetime trawling through dreams, longing for a better world while failing to create one... Then I am here. I am with you. And we can walk together."

Fou-Lu pulls away, face flushed. looking at him, as he asks if he would... accept a kiss? The halovian's heart stutters, fluttering in his chest. His ear wings flap, and his own face heats up. It wasn't a question he'd expected, even with their shared little kisses, the clinging and crying and exchanging of the word love. And yet.... He welcomes it all the same, smiling softly, warmly at the other man. His voice quiet, just for Fou-Lu, as if the whole world could hear them within the walls of this room. Leaning close, closer. His lips brushing against Fou-Lu's cheek.

"I... I would."

From Fou-Lu? Always, he thinks.

[nightmareofdivinity]

Oh, how he wishes that he could believe those words - that he's worthy of things, that he has a kind soul. That he's not broken, fractured, incomplete - a feeling that's haunted him for decade after decade because he knows it's true. But he gathers his courage as much as he can, placing a hand on the back of the other's head gently and pressing his lips to Sunday's.

Instantly he feels warm, feels the gentle pressure, and tries to keep his breathing calm. His eyes close as he basks in the warmth, the feeling of care and tenderness and... and love. He holds it for a moment before his cheeks flush an even deeper pink and he presses his face into the crook of Sunday's neck again.

"I... I wish only for thy happiness. I wouldst like nothing more than to be worthy of thy grace. Thou art not Endless but I doth feel unworthy of thy attentions nonetheless." He takes a deep breath and tries to keep himself steady. He still feels... awkward about this - not that it's wrong but more that he's doing it improperly.

Even if there's no one to watch him he feels... shy. He's so used to having eyes on him that he's not sure what to do without them. "I doth not know how to walk this path. But... we art together. We canst help each other." And he knows that he will defend Sunday with his life. He needs to make sure that the other is safe.

[harmoniousconsecration]

The kiss is soft, warm, gentle. They are both woefully inexperienced with this sort of thing, but yet... it's lovely. There's a warmth in his chest that spreads and spreads, and he smiles against Fou-Lu's lips. His ear wings flutter as he kisses the other man in return, feathers brushing against both of their cheeks.

When the other man pulls away, pressing his face back into Sunday's neck, the halovian's heart still races, excited. He strokes gently through Fou-Lu's hair, sighing softly. Just allowing him close, enjoying this.

"I... want the same, for you. I want you to be happy. I want to be part of that happiness, if I can." Sunday admits, the words leaving a blush on his cheeks, so very honest. His free hand rests upon Fou-Lu's cheek. "You deserve this. You are worthy of this. I swear it, Fou-Lu. Those same worries made me... hesitant, to tell you about this. I feared the same of myself."

In the back of his mind, the halovian still did. Even so, Sunday laughs, a soft little sound. They were both so clueless, weren't they? Travelling an unfamiliar path. But like Fou-Lu said: They had each other, were together, and thankfully, lived within the same vicinity, just a few doors away. It was a journey they didn't have to undertake entirely alone. And... having Fou-Lu close like this, one so endless and yet just as nervous as he was... It was comforting. Reassuring. Sunday didn't need to have everything figured out. He just needed to know what direction he was heading in. Though similar in many ways... their experiences seemed different enough that they could provide insight to each other that they may not have considered alone.

And they... could walk together.

"Neither do I. So much of this is very new to me." Sunday says, leaning back to look down at the other, his expression warm. His hand strokes Fou-Lu's cheek, tender, trying to offer something in the way of comfort, reassurance. To touch him, hold him, to prove to him that they weren't alone, didn't have to be. "I have faith in you. In us both. I don't know what lies ahead, or what may happen. But I know that I feel safe with you."

And maybe that was just as good.

[nightmareofdivinity]

"... Wouldst thou wish to lie together again?" He doesn't know the word 'cuddle', but that's what he means. "I doth not wish to make thee do something thou doth not wish to do." The kissing was nice, and maybe they'll do it again, but he feels very heated right now and he's not sure what to make of it.

He presses his hand on the other's lower back, pulling him in while being careful to avoid the wings. They're... quite beautiful, but he isn't sure if touching them is proper. ... But who cares about proper?

(He does. He cares.)

"I wouldst keep thee from the dangers here, but I wouldst not cage thee. Thou deserveth freedom, not incarceration. So I ask that thou doth take me with thee when thou doth desire to go to the lower reaches of the vessel." He just... he just wants the other to be safe. Imprisoning him would just make him miserable, and it seems like he's had enough of that already.

[harmoniousconsecration]

To lie together again... The thought was lovely. Fou-Lu asking if he would like these things, allow them... Telling him he didn't want Sunday to feel that he had to go along with any of it. It's comforting, full of care. And he appreciates it. They're both very new to this. All of this. There's a warmth, some excitement, fluttering away in his chest.

"I. I would like that."

A hand presses against his lower back, pulling him close. Mindful of his wings. Sunday is touched by Fou-Lu's grace, finds it very gentlemanly. The halovian's hands find Fou-Lu's face, cupping his cheeks.

Before laying down, before guiding the other into the bed with him, he lets himself enjoy this little moment, leaning close and kissing Fou-Lu again, a little peck, something quick, sweet.

Fou-Lu speaks of not wanting to imprison him, even with his love. Wishing to use it instead to protect him. It makes him feel.... something he's not sure how to describe. Was his own love a cage?

Sunday thinks of Penacony, his eternal dream. How his desire for a perfect world with no pain hinged around his sister. Did she think it a cage? The realization that life slumbers so it can live, that dreams are a reprieve, that sleep could not be forever, was still something he struggled to understand, accept. His whole life had been in dormancy.

And he knows he doesn't want that for the older man, either.

"I will. I'll come find you, if the desire ever strikes me. I don't... want to cause you undo worry. And. I would like to have you close if danger is near. If you are not busy, if you... don't mind."

Sunday feels safest around Fou-Lu anyways, he finds. Not that many have given him a reason to fear them, but... Having spent more time around the endless than others so far, he believes this feeling is more than warranted. They can't always be together, of course. But they can allow themselves this.

"I don't want you to feel.. bound to me, and my well being. All of this is very new to me, and I might be mortal, but. I can cope."

All things considered, he thinks he's been doing. Okay, on the coping part. He may not be physically strong, and might have a few... issues. But he wasn't fragile.

[nightmareofdivinity]

The kiss is sweet, tender... he can feel himself warming again. It's unfamiliar, given that he runs a bit cool, but it's not... unwelcome.

"'Tis not as if there doth be much here to busy mineself with. Not even a tome to read..." It's boring. There's not even a lot of things he can fight, and he can only whack a tree so many times before he gets irritated that it's not fighting back. "But I wouldst protect thee, should the situation call for it."

Bound to him? He huffs in amusement and presses a kiss to the other's forehead. "I doth not feel bound to thee, only by mine feelings." He curls up next to Sunday, leaning into him. He'd hold him from behind but he doesn't want to cage the other's wings.

"I wilt not go on mine own either, even if that doth be what I hath become accustomed to. You shalt have no cause to worry." ... He hopes, at least.

[harmoniousconsecration]

Sunday gives the other man a sympathetic look. It was boring here. But he found that he didn't mind it, not really.

"I would hate to see you hurt on my behalf." Sunday admits, his voice soft, warm. Fou-Lu lies with him, leaning close. Sunday is just glad to have him near, to feel him close like this again. Sunday's hand finds his cheek, gently cupping it. "I will also do what I can to support you. I am here, I am never far."

Loneliness had carved a great hole in Sunday's chest, over many years. The edges of it are still raw from the loss of everyone he loved, everyone he'd known. And yet... These last few weeks upon this Ship have proven to him that he didn't have to pull himself away, that he didn't have to be alone.

Slowly, surely, something in him was starting to change. It was raw, a great undoing of everything he'd previously come to know, accept. A tangled, woven net that had only just begun to unravel. It was difficult. But he wasn't alone, through it.

The promise he'd just made still lingers at the back of his mind, a paradise without the dream had seemed so impossible, before. He feels the older man close, feels warm lips against his forehead, knows that he's bared his soul to this man and it hasn't yet turned him either away or against him, and.... A feeling flutters in his chest.

Maybe it would be okay. Maybe everything could be.

He was glad that Fou-Lu didn't feel bound, forced into this, as though the act of loving and being loved by Sunday were a cage. The halovian wants nothing more than the endless' safety, his happiness, with or without him at his side. But to have the chance to linger close like this for now.... It was more than enough.

"Thank you. I know this place is boring for you, and I don't want to simply... ask you not to explore. It wouldn't be fair of me." Fou-Lu's words are reassuring. He trusts them, trusts him to keep them. He smiles. "I... know that you are capable. Strong on your own. I trust that you know what you're doing, much more than I do. All I want is for you to be okay. And if you aren't..."

A wing at Sunday's waist reaches over, gently resting upon Fou-Lu. Holding him close, but easily moved, if it were too much, if he felt smothered. His wings were not large or high enough on his back to shelter the endless, but he could drape them over Fou-Lu, when they were close.

"I want to be near. I want to aid you. In any way I can."

[nightmareofdivinity]

He takes some deep breaths, curling into the other. He can be... vulnerable. He can be weak with Sunday. It's okay, and it's not a statement on his strength or pride. It's just... being able to be weak. Being able to be here for the halovian and not have to be formal or careful or... anything but himself.

Even if he's not sure what 'he' is outside of his purpose.

"I doth feel the same. I doth be here for thee, in whatever manner I canst be of assistance." The wash of emotion has left him... tired. He reaches over to grab the sheet and pull it up around the two of them. A small gesture, but one that allows them to share the warmth of each other more easily.

"We shouldst both rest. It hath been an... emotional conversation for the both of us."

[harmoniousconsecration]

Sunday allows the other man to curl up against him, letting him have that quiet moment. Intimacy, closeness. Vulnerability. Sunday smiles, pressing a kiss to Fou-Lu's forehead. He feels. Comfortable like this. Without a need to put up walls or barriers between himself and anyone else, not having to hold himself with such care. He could simply... be.

Fou-Lu pulls a sheet over them, suggesting that they rest. Sunday feels that he agrees, it had been. A difficult comversation. Not a bad one. Not something negative, but. It had been emotional, even draining. He can feel the exhaustion in his face, his chest, heavy.

It had also been the first time he'd well and truly opened up to another, in quite some time. The first time in a long time, in which he had laid out all of himself, his sins, on display for another to examine... Sunday was a man that acted on behalf of his aeon, who had accepted confessions of wayward, fearful souls who only wished for understanding, forgiveness. He was a symbol. He was an older brother. It was improper of him to impose his problems on a sister so far away.

Where, and with who, could he lay his burdens down? His love for all people, his pessimism, his distrust, his fear?

"Let's rest, then. I think we both need it." Sunday's arm drapes over Fou-Lu, gentle, not wishing to make him feel trapped. Wanting only to hold him. Wondering if the other man had been held in this way before. A few solid moments pass, before he adds, voice hushed, "Thank you. For hearing me. For trying to understand."

Here. He could lay it here.